{"id":9543,"date":"2017-04-08T12:00:57","date_gmt":"2017-04-08T11:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/?p=9543"},"modified":"2017-04-07T20:27:29","modified_gmt":"2017-04-07T19:27:29","slug":"mlssien","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/2017\/04\/mlssien\/","title":{"rendered":"MLSsien"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In The Higher Tempo Press HQ, the ideas presented fit into two separate yet equally important groups: 10\/10, top quality writing; and good puns. This is the latter.<\/p>\n<p>(Credit to anyone who got that Law &amp; Order reference)<\/p>\n<p>What would it be like if Michael Essien, former Chelsea midfield hero, moved to MLS? I hear you ask, \u201cbut what club?\u201d \u2013 every club, of course.<\/p>\n<p>First, a look at Michael Essien. Obviously not the physically imposing player he was in his prime by his Technical attributes are still reasonable and his Mental attributes would be a welcome addition to most teams despite the below average Work Rate.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-9542 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/essien.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1023\" height=\"537\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/essien.png 1023w, https:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/essien-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/essien-768x403.png 768w, https:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/essien-696x365.png 696w, https:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/essien-800x420.png 800w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1023px) 100vw, 1023px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The season begins on 06\/03\/2016\u2026<\/p>\n<h3><strong>MLS Eastern Conference<\/strong><\/h3>\n<h4><strong>Chicago Fire<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 6<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 8<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 29 appearances, 0 goals, 4 assists, 2 POM, 6.85 average rating, Vice-Captain<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Columbus Crew SC<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 3<sup>rd<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 1<sup>st<\/sup> in Eastern Conference, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Eastern Conference Runner Up<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 0(5) appearances, 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 POM, 6.87 average rating<\/p>\n<h4><strong>D.C. United<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 8<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 2<sup>nd<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 30 appearances, 2 goals, 5 assists, 4 POM, 6.74 average rating, Vice-Captain<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Montreal Impact<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 10<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 8<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 19(2) appearances, 1 goal, 2 assists, 1 POM, 6.83 average rating<\/p>\n<h4><strong>New England Revolution<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 7<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 8<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 25(6) appearances, 0 goals, 3 assists, 0 POM, 6.53 average rating<\/p>\n<h4><strong>New York Red Bulls<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 1<sup>st<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 6<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference, <em><strong>Eastern Conference Winner<\/strong><\/em>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">MLS Cup Runner Up<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 4 appearances, 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 POM, 6.90 average rating, waived on 09\/04\/16<\/p>\n<h4><strong>New York City Football Club<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 5<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 3<sup>rd<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 30(3) appearances, 0 goals, 4 assists, 1 POM, 6.83 average rating<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Orlando City<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 4<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Eastern Conference Final Runner Up<\/span><\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 6<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 0(9) appearances, 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 POM, 6.53 average rating<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Philadelphia Union<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 9<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 3<sup>rd<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 3(1) appearances, 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 POM, 6.50 average rating, Captain<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Toronto FC<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 2<sup>nd<\/sup> in Eastern Conference, <em><strong>Eastern Conference Final Winner<\/strong><\/em>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">MLS Cup Runner Up<\/span><\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 8<sup>th<\/sup> in Eastern Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 16(9) appearances, 0 goals, 4 assists, 1 POM, 6.71 average rating<\/p>\n<h3><strong>MLS Western Conference<\/strong><\/h3>\n<h4><strong>Colorado Rapids<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 8<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 6<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Western Conference Runner Up<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 34(1) appearances, 0 goals, 9 assists, 0 POM, 6.80 average rating, Vice-Captain<\/p>\n<h4><strong>FC Dallas<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 6<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 3<sup>rd<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 15(7) appearances, 0 goals, 5 assists, 1 POM, 6.74 average rating, Vice-Captain<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Houston Dynamo<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 5<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 7<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 0(2) appearances, 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 POM, 6.50 average rating, Vice-Captain<\/p>\n<h4><strong>LA Galaxy<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 3<sup>rd<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 4<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 8(6) appearances, 0 goals, 1 assist, 0 POM, 6.47 average rating<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Portland Timbers<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 4<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 1<sup>st<\/sup> in Western Conference, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Western Conference Runner Up<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 0 appearances, Vice-Captain<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Real Salt Lake<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 9<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 6<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 25(4) appearances, 1 goal, 7 assists, 2 POM, 6.60 average rating<\/p>\n<h4><strong>San Jose Earthquakes<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 10<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 10<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 19(6) appearances, 0 goals, 1 assist, 1 POM, 6.73 average rating, Vice-Captain<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Seattle Sounders FC<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 1<sup>st<\/sup> in Western Conference, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Western Conference Final Runner Up<\/span><\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 2<sup>nd<\/sup> in Western Conference, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Western Conference Runner Up<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 0 appearances, waived on 03\/03\/2016<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Sporting Kansas City<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 2<sup>nd<\/sup> in Western Conference, <em><strong>Western Conference Final Winner<\/strong><\/em>, <em><strong>MLS Cup Winner<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 7<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 21(5) appearances, 1 goal, 6 assists, 0 POM, 6.72 average rating<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Vancouver Whitecaps FC<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Without Essien: 7<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>With Essien: 5<sup>th<\/sup> in Western Conference<\/p>\n<p>Essien stats: 33(2) appearances, 1 goal, 6 assists, 2 POM, 6.84 average rating, Captain<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So in summary, 10 out of 20 clubs improved their position after signing Michael Essien. He \u00a0was Vice-Captain of 7 teams and Captain of a further 3 teams, sadly being waived by two teams. I think it\u2019s fair to say from this intellectual experiment that a MLS move for Michael Essien would neither be a disaster nor perfection but certainly fulfils the desire for a terrible pun \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In The Higher Tempo Press HQ, the ideas presented fit into two separate yet equally important groups: 10\/10, top quality writing; and good puns. This is the latter. (Credit to anyone who got that Law &amp; Order reference) What would it be like if Michael Essien, former Chelsea midfield hero, moved to MLS? I hear [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67,"featured_media":9584,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[153,90],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>MLSsien - The Higher Tempo Press<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thehighertempopress.com\/2017\/04\/mlssien\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"MLSsien - The Higher Tempo Press\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In The Higher Tempo Press HQ, the ideas presented fit into two separate yet equally important groups: 10\/10, top quality writing; and good puns. 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