It is the end of the season. Jorge Wilstermann have absolutely stormed away with the LFPB Close title, and with it, have won the overall league. Their ascent from when 7th at the end of the Opening Stage has been nothing short of remarkable. However, Iyer’s relationship with Cusicanqui has been rocky for a while. We arrive with Iyer at Cusicanqui’s door asking to go on a Coaching Course.
Iyer: Hey Julio, can I come in
Cusicanqui: Sid, course you can come in, anything for you, my man. My miracle worker. There are people placing pictures of you next to Jesus, you know.
Iyer: (blushing) Just doing my job Sir.
Cusicanqui: If you continue doing your job like that, they’ll start worshipping you! (he lets out a hearty laugh)
Iyer: Well, with all due respect Sir, there’s a reason to why I came.
Cusicanqui: Of course, what is it? Have a seat by all means
Iyer: (pulls out a seat. Suddenly, a huge bang is heard and Iyer jumps back) What was that?
Cusicanqui: Oh, that was just my nephew lighting a firework. He’s very inquisitive, you know.
Iyer: Isn’t he 3? Is that even safe?
Cusicanqui: Are you questioning me? You do know that I own you (he goes into his drawer)
Iyer: Yes, of course, Sir (he composes himself) I just wanted to know if it’s OK if I go on a coaching course to enhance my skills as a coach. I have a National A license now and really want to try and get a Continental C one as soon as I can.
Cusicanqui: Sorry, repeat that amigo, was busy with something (he points to the desk which is now filled with a white powder, then taps his nose twice)
Iyer: I’m sorry Sir, is that cocaine?
Cusicanqui: Yeah, let this be our little secret OK (he smiles, showing black gums and yellow teeth) What was it you wanted to ask me?
Iyer: (shocked by what he has just seen) I just…just…I just wanted to ask if you could allow me to go on a coaching course to further my skills. It would make me a better manager and it just costs £600.
Cusicanqui: And how many Bolivianos is that?
Iyer: It’s around about 5200 bolivianos but I’d come back a better coach and we could regain that money in prize money.
Cusicanqui: (he pauses, as though thinking out something) Yeah, we cannot afford that I’m afraid, sorry.
Iyer: But we managed to get 129k from winning the Closing Stage title itself! We definitely can afford that.
Cusicanqui: (furiously) If I say we can’t afford it, it means we can’t afford it. (He snorts some cocaine, some staying on the tip of his nose) Besides, we need you at training.
Iyer: (horrified by the events unfolded before him) But all the players are on holiday! I have so much free-time and the season is still 4 months or so away. I just need 2 months or so to get this license.
Cusicanqui: If I say no, it means no.
Iyer: Even after everything I’ve done for this club. I got them out of an absolute state and managed to win the league with them. I made a solid investment for the club through the transfers. Rodrigo Vargas scored 16 goals in 14 games for us, including 3 hat-tricks. Isaias Dury was absolutely incredible as an IWB, never slacking off in a single game and ending the season with an average rating of 7.22. Roberto Paz was a rock at CDM, the perfect pivot for our side. Jorge Montealegre scored 5 in 11, at crucial times too. I even made us a profit of 100k on the transfers! Don’t I deserve something for this?
Cusicanqui: (rising out of his chair, his eyes strangely bloodshot) Don’t give me this crap about getting them out of an absolute state. You were the one who got them into that position in the first place. If anyone deserves credit, it’s me, for keeping faith in you. Don’t forget that you managed in Andorra before this.
Iyer: At least the chairman in Andorra wasn’t a crackhead and respected my wishes.
Cusicanqui: What did you just call me? Say that to my face
Iyer: (taking a step closer to him) You’re a worthless crackhead.
Cusicanqui: (he goes back into his drawer and whips out a revolver) How about now, huh? (Iyer takes a step back) Haha, not so big now, are you?
Iyer: You’re a psycho, a bloody psycho (slowly backing out of the door)
Cusicanqui: I’m also your owner, so if I were you, I’d shut my mouth and get right out of my office, you follow.
Iyer sprints out of the office, horrified by the events he has just witnessed. He gets home and immediately goes to the bedroom, considering what he should do next. Suddenly, he receives a Skype call from his old friend, Eric Andorra. He accepts the call and Iyer talks about what has just gone on with Cusicanqui.
Eric: Are you nuts mate? Go to the police straight away and tell them what you’ve just seen.
Iyer: I can’t, he has connections with the police, they’ll just beat me up and throw me in a cell for a night.
Eric: But you won the league! You were incredible throughout the season. I followed the games whenever I could and the football your team played was amazing. You led the league in so many stats: most possession, most passes completed, highest tackle ratio, most shots on target. And that’s just a few of them. You lot were incredible.
Iyer: I know, but try telling that to him. Anyway, I’ll be off now, I have an early day tomorrow, have to choose what kit we have next season.
Eric: Sure thing mate, let me know how everything goes (he disconnects)
It is the next day. And Iyer has stormed into Cusicanqui’s office. It is revealed that Cusicanqui has only given Iyer 50% of the money from out-going transfers.
Iyer: What are you doing? Do you want us to go down, you son of a bitch?
Cusicanqui: Believe me, if we went down, it would be you who would end up worse (he says brandishing his revolver) And what’s your problem now?
Iyer: 50% from player sales! 50%? Is that a joke? Why do you need 50% of the sales anyway?
Cusicanqui: (taking out a bag of white powder) This shit’s expensive man, how else can I fund it?
Iyer: (utterly horrified by what happened) OK, that’s it, I’m leaving. I’ve had enough of you and I can’t work under you any longer. You’re a cracked-up psychopath and I’m not working for someone like you any longer. I’m out (and with that, he storms out of the office)
Suddenly, a cloth is placed over his mouth and a black bag over his head and Iyer slowly drifts out of consciousness. 4 hours later, he wakes up at Felix Capriles, all bound together, the rotted face of Julio Cusicanqui before him.
Cusicanqui: My man, you aren’t going anywhere. You’re going to stay here until I sack you and there’s nothing you can do about it. If you perform badly on purpose, I will know, and I will fire you. Literally. So, to reiterate…you aren’t going anywhere.
Iyer opens his mouth to challenge Cusicanqui before a cloth of chloroform is placed over his mouth once again and he slowly passes out, his situation now more helpless than it ever was…